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Saturday, November 30, 2013

THANKSGIVING


Once a long... long time ago in a land full of NTs (neuro typicals)   Our families used to meet up with Grandmas, and Grandpas, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and people who had nowhere to go. They used to pile in until the number sometimes passed 30! One year we noticed our little girl had a very hard time navigating her way through this day and would sometimes have really bad tantrums. MOST of the others didn't understand and by the time we would get her settled down at our home I would fall apart in my husband’s arms. I was so undone. We kept going year after year......and I don't know why.  We did behavior modification on Meg and I even wrote her social stories to try and help her navigate. We did try and educate the others on our daughter’s behaviors. We even wrote and handed out letters one year.   I think that was the last year that we spent Thanksgiving there.

 It was hard to change what we did every year, but it was good. It has been good in so MANY different ways!

One time I heard these words in a sermon and they have stuck in me like a seed….”growing things change”

 YES GROWING things change and sometimes Change is hard.

 At first we tried to move the entire get together to our home, but for many different reasons the others still continued to stay at the other house. The first year was the hardest, but It was also so FULL of Gods peace....WE KNEW we made the right decision. It is good to have family traditions but sometimes it’s okay to make new ones. Sometimes we are stuck in old ways that are not good for any one. Perhaps a change can bring healing and growth.  I want traditions full of peace and honoring one another. I want everyone to be treated with the love that God has put in us. Let’s build a tradition where everyone is held up and brought close. Let’s build a tradition of laughter and sharing EVEN if the house is a mess! Let’s celebrate life and live in this culture all year long!

Let’s dance and sing and build a tradition where we pray and invite our Daddy God to come fellowship with us. Let’s praise and worship Him!



We first did this change because we believed it was best for Megan (our daughter) and in doing so we found it has been best for us too.

Saturday, October 19, 2013


LOVEING THE LITTLE THINGS
Written by: Caili Misner

      Throughout my twenty years living here on this earth, I have learned many lessons either through my own experiences or by watching the experiences of others. But from all the lessons I have learned, one lesson stands above the rest and that is to love the little things in life. This lesson began in the year 2005, during this year my family was going through something, that literally took the world we knew and flipped it on its head or at least  it felt like that any way.
 That year of 2005, my family had found out that my sweet little five year old sister Megan had AUTISM. So many questions rushed through our minds on what this thing called autism was and how it would affect my sister Megan growing up. Well my family learned fast and hard on what autism was, what we learned and heard from our excessive research and from what experts or doctors had to say is that my sister Megan could have difficulties in social interaction with people; trouble with verbal communication which would result in fits and tantrums if she was not understood or did not get her way. Plus that she would have repetitive behaviors, no sense of humor, and a lack of empathy.

There were times when I found my sisters autism to be quite noisy and very scary, to put this into perspective and have it in a way where it’s PG for you, my dear reader. When my sister would throw a fit, let’s just say that not all words were appropriate and lady like. But there was this one time while she was throwing a fit and yelled the most appropriate thing  and what it was I will never forget, she yelled  “Oh my darn it!”  When she throws fits, I either leave the room or put my headphones on. But sometimes it would get so noisy in fact that it sounded to me like a bunch of angry cats put in a metal trashcan that was rolled down a bumpy, rocky hill during a hail storm.

Other than my sister’s fits being very loud, how it looked was a different story. Cause every time my sister threw a fit, I  saw it as if she was an angry elephant on a rampage going through the busy streets of New York City and would hit anything or anyone that was in her way or in close distance of her. Now if there was an angry elephant going through the streets, it would make  total sense for the police force and animal control to block certain areas of the city so the elephant doesn’t hurt its self or others and to make sure it goes to a safe enclosure when it can be safe and have time to calm down. This is the same with my sister Megan, whenever she throws a fit she starts hitting everything and everyone in sight which can be a danger for her and others; my family has to work together as a team and usher my sister safely to her room so she can calm down.

  Other times I found my sisters autism to be very hilarious, because there would be times when she would say the most random silly things that it would make me laugh so hard that I couldn’t breathe sometimes. There was this time in my sister’s life where just about everything and everyone was a color, like she would randomly go up to people either in the store or when people came to visit us and she would ask them “Are you purple?”  There was also another time where my sister Megan had a fascination with baby dolls and every year on her birthday or Christmas, I would ask what she wanted and every year it was the same thing “I want baby doll” she would answer this so much in fact that now my sister has a total of 30 baby dolls.

There was also a time when my sister was trying to figure out what fat was and would ask my mom and me out loud in fact, if that man or woman was fat and we would either tell her that it wasn’t nice to say or we would just ignore her if she kept on repeating it. There would also be times when my sister Megan would copycat or parrot what I would say when I would be talking to my friends or mom and dad. In these moments when she would do that, I would tell her to just be quiet, mostly all she would do is just laugh very loudly at me and say “sissy want me to be quite, I’M TOO LOUD!”  Now, to think the doctors said she would have no sense of humor.

 There were some times I found her behaviors odd or just plain silly, like when my sister had a favorite movie she liked to watch, she would want to watch it over and over again. So much in fact, that I now know almost every line of every movie I ever watched with my sister.  Then there are the moments with my sister, that I cherish very deeply and those are the moments whenever were just lying on the couch quietly next to each other watching a show or when she gives me high fives and says “we rock” every time we score five stars on Rock-Band. When I look back at those moments in my life I began to laugh and think how irritated I would get when she wouldn’t be quiet, or behave like a normal sister should, then I stop and think about those moments when I really enjoy having her around and glad that she’s not normal.

What does the story of my sister being diagnosed with autism and me having to live with it, got to do with loving the little things in life you may ask when reading this? Well to put it simply for you. It’s this, besides the throwing of occasional noisy fits and the randomness of words that would come out of my sister Megan’s mouth. There were many things; small things that everyday people seem to take for granted sometimes that my sister didn’t know how to do. Like brushing teeth, eating with utensils, getting dressed by her-self. These are just to name a few on the list of little things.

My sister Megan, who is now a teenager, has made a lot of progress since the time she got diagnosed with autism.  There are the occasional fits, but they are not as bad as they used to be when she was little and sometimes I have to remind her to use her fork or spoon when eating. But all in all, my sister has grown to be quite the social butterfly and is the shining star at her school. Every day that I spend with my sister, is a day where I love the little things more and more. I am so proud that I get to live with an extraordinary person like my sister  and get to watch her grow  into the little lady that she is becoming today, because of  my sister I have learned to love the little things, not just in my sister’s life, but mine as well.

 

 

 

     

 

 

 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

GODS word HER cure

 1 John 1v9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (unless you have autism)






 I know not funny huh? IT doesn't say that! IT says if we confess our sins HE will FORGIVE us and cleanse us of any unrighteousness!!!! O my for real?
Megan has many behaviors MANY that would be considered unrighteous. Just because she has autism doesn't mean she gets to just walk around with these behaviors! She has to be taught what's right and what's not just like any other kid. YES in some ways Meg is just like any other kid. She is 13 , loves music and is now boy crazy! She has good behaviors and bad. She makes choices every day... good and bad. If she hits she has to go to her room. AFTER the behavior when she is calm sometimes she is able to reason through, sometimes she's not. For years I would lead her in repentance ...Meg say this " Jesus thank you that you love me." "Thank you that you forgive me." I'm sorry I hit ____________ . Please forgive me and heal me so I will not hit when I am mad. In Jesus name amen. FOR years I have walked her through this! Just this last week she has been saying stuff like" I'm sorry for hitting my door" or "I get mad sometimes"  I believe that God can and will heal her maybe NOT of autism itself (whatever that may be) BUT of acting out bad behaviors. Meg has gone through so much and has come so far. Gods word does not return void. We have used scripture ... I figure hey if He can transform me with His word why not her? HIS word is settled in Heaven ...It doesn't say unless you have autism! His word says HE saves those who call on Him..... It doesn't say unless they have autism ...right? Megs favorite scripture is God has not given me a spirit of fear but love power and sound mind! I do not know all things even about autism or why she has it.... BUT I do know that GOD has not given her a spirit of fear BUT love power and SOUND MIND! I know that God did not make Megan to be tormented... He has made her on purpose in my whom He has plans for her NOT to harm her.That's what HIS word says so that's where I am placing my faith! God has never lied nor will ever do so. His word is true and always solid. I know sometimes its hard to believe His word when emotions are all over the place yelling in your face. I know that the enemy lies to you and tells you this child is part of some cruel punishment for past sins, and that there is no cure. I know that deep inside your heart you long for your child to be healed and whole but are afraid to even ask. I know this because I have been there. DEAR ONE Your child is a GIFT from God. The stuff that comes with autism is NOT. I'm going to be bold here and say autism is a disease, and GOD does not give disease! God heals. DID you hear me dear one? GOD HEALS! Ask Him today to walk you to the place of faith so you can fight for your child. Speak His word considering your child and ask Him to heal ..... ALL though I do not know what that looks like in your life all the way I know it looks good and If you ask Him to show you He will. I must go now so until next time Keep your eyes on JESUS! ....

 In His LOVE Arlene

Monday, July 22, 2013

Missed appointments

Last week I had things I wanted to do , people I REALLY wanted to see. I missed everything I WANTED to do! boo hoo my life :( OK pity party over! I was able to get Meg to her docters appointment and able to keep my house clean (okay somewhat livable) BUT o there were things I REALLY wanted to do. If I missed an appointment with you.... Know that You are not alone and I really wanted to see you.

ITS a new day, a new week! I love Mondays !!!! They are fresh and start me off brand new.





 It helps that I believe in and enjoy my work. My Job is different , BOTH of them or should I say all of them?

I'm focusing on two areas of my life for this post. One being my JOB, you know the one that brings income.... Yeah that one. I own my own business so I can work around Megs schedule. TOTALLY works for me. Although its my own business and I can make my own hours, I have responsibilities in this business for the people I'm training and for my customers. I want to be excellent in all I do.

 Meg is the other area of my life I am writing about today. (after all she is what this blog is about)She goes to a specialized school just for kids that have different needs. They have always had a year round schedule and its been perfect for her!
Recently our district changed that, and she is out of school for nearly 3 months. She is a sweet and fun gal that loves life and people, BUT 3 months of no school is confusing! I do not have enough PECs for her calendar to show her she is home this long. PEC stands for Picture exchange communication. It is how we have communicated for years :)

I learned some years ago how to recognize when burn out is around the corner and know when I need to rest or when I need to play. Usually both hahaha. Rest first then play. I've learned a skill set in even how to rest if I cant get away. Some days Megs hair wont be done It will be brushed but that's it. She will be fed and dressed...I just do the things that have to be done.   I call those my have tos . On those days I hurry and do my have tos, and then I just put on worship music and sit there and soak. I have learned to rest in Him even in Megs constant talking and noises ...and I think that is an important skill set.

NOW to learn a new creative way to do my business while Meg is here for 3 months! This could be interesting. God is our CREATOR He created the entire world and us....so Im asking Him for some of that creativity to run an excellent and prosperous business while being the mom she needs. OVER comeing autism in every area of our life! Not giving up or running away from challenges but facing them head on with HIS strength That is how I live and move that is how I grow in Him. In Nehemiah the people were prepared for what ever came their way and they kept working to get that wall built. Building tools in one hand and fighting tools in the other. I believe God has given me tools to do the jobs at hand. Where is God challenging you to overcome? Are there areas in your life or your kids life that can cause you to flee or bury your head in the sand? God invites us to overcome these areas He all ready has the answers and chances are you all ready have the tools. Ask His help and move ahead into His promises. DONT let excuses steel your future! Now go and have a great week! remember  Dear ones God LOVES you, and is for you. He wants you to prosper and succeed in every area of your life .... NOW GO DO IT !