I was wondering how many moms and dads out there are just entering into the culture of autism, or any other realm of special needs. Can I tell you something? I understand your hurt. I know what its like to be crushed as you watch your little one display odd behaviors. Behaviors that society will label them an out cast for. Behaviors that are weird and that will cause others to back away from you or judge you for.
Dear one I want you to know right now that This is not a judgement on you from God. This is not a LIFE imprisonment. This WILL change you and it will crush you, push you down and, destroy who you are right now. This will take all that you have deemed important and push it back . Somethings that you find very important right now will not even make it on your priority list any longer. You will cry, You will be angry and dear one you will grieve.
If you go through the process with God you will come to accept and appreciate your life. You will learn how to truly give your love away unconditionally, and in doing so you will learn what real joy is. You will be a master at having peace even in the middle of chaos. You will learn to fight the devil like never before because my friend you will be fighting for the life of your child .... I love that plaque that is forever etched in my soul, I'm not sure who wrote this or if I'm wording it correctly but It reads something like this, "Having a child is the only way we get to see our heart walking around on the outside". Awww Isn't that so true?
I know that when you had this child , when you first met him or when you named her....I know that you were not planning on hours of therapy ... OT, PT, ABA, You may not know what all those letters stand for now but Dear one you will. The ballet and baseball may happen but will be pushed aside for these instead. You may get to learn things about nutrition and supplements that you never wanted to know. Yes eating may never be the same again.
You see life as you know it today will simply fade away.
Dear one remember this God is good, He loves you ,and your little one. He did not give your child autism or what ever diagnoses is being considered. He didn't do it but oh He can make glory out of it. I know that reading this right now may be hard and you may be angry, You may even be angry at God. I was. If you are, simply tell Him. He can handle your anger, and He all ready knows about it any way. He wants to comfort you and wash your tears. He wants you to know Dear one that He will be with you every step of the way during this process and all other processes to come. It will be better if you notice Him there with you. I promise He will never leave you. He loves your child more then you do and has a great plan for them. He does not see disabilities OH no I believe in every one of us what He sees is His heart walking around on the outside.
In His LOVE
Arlene
