There we were all sitting around the table. Megans team consisted of about 5 people Me, Megs Dad, Her psychologist Dr. Brown, her worker Roswel, and her teacher, I don't remember if everyone was present at this meeting. She had been diagnosed with autism regression for some time and we were watching her disappear into no where. Autism was taking her away! "Arlene what are some hopes you have for Megan?" Dr. Brown asked. She had to ask me three times because I didn't have any more hope left.
I was grieving and my hope was broken. I didn't want her to know that though, I didn't want any one to know that I had lost hope for my own daughter.
Tears flowed out of my eyes as I struggled to even say those words. Autism regression made my baby sick, and I felt like she was being stolen more and more each day. People like Dr. Eilene Brown and many like her have helped me to fight for my daughter and bring her back. I know some see autism as a gift and I understand where you are coming from, but autism itself has not been a gift to us or to my daughter.My daughter is the gift.
For years we have been praying for Megan.
For years I have researched, sought out doctors, therapists and treatments that could help heal her and help Megan be all she could be. ALL GOD has created her to be!
For YEARS God has shown up to guide us in all these steps, and we have witnessed changes. Some we didn't even notice for a while It makes me wonder how we could NOT notice. Just one day we would realize that she hasn't thrown any thing in a long time. When did this stop?
Some changes are so big and so all of the sudden changes that we notice right off. We like to call these Eureka moments.
The first Eureka moment I remember was this: I had been studying everything about autism I had found so many parents doing the casein and gluten free diet. I am one to look into things for a long time. One day I was at a conference where Temple Grandin was speaking. It was the first time ever I heard her speak. Temple was talking about interventions and medications that had been known to help our kids.She strongly suggested trying diet first because, it was least harmful, I was convicted and immediately in prayer... Saying to God "O God I'm not JUST going to do this big diet change even if every one else is doing it," "O my do you know how hard this will be?" I will only do it if you tell me too." RIGHT THEN I hear my name being called out..... How cool is that? I won the raffle! and can you guess what I won? A huge supply of Dari free potato milk! I took that as a direction. We took Megan off of milk and gluten. Milk first I saw huge changes! She used to act drunk and out of control and most of that was gone. It was such a huge improvement I decided maybe it was a good idea to let God lead us in our adventure. Overcoming Autism began that day.
Another sudden change I saw was when we put her on M B-12. We felt directed by God to do this I cant remember how sudden it was but she had NEVER played before. She would just line her toys up. side by side in nice little rows. One day I was cleaning her bedroom , making her bed to be exact, when I heard her saying some familiar things like "o he has pretty eyes what a cute baby." She had been hearing this a lot because my new grandson and his mommy just moved in with us. This was so unlike her even though she did parrot. I found her in front of her doll house playing with the dolls! I was so amazed.
I don't know why but no matter how many times God comes through ...No matter how many times He speaks and we are blessed when we do what He says.....NO MATTER how many amazing things He does in my life I am always SURPRISED! How can I be surprised by His faithfulness?
Recently Eureka moments seem to be happening all over the place.
Ill start her.
At he end of 2013 I experienced a life changing experience with a supplement. I Have taken MANY supplements in my life but I don't think any of them I felt. When I found my self totally exhausted no matter what none of my supplements were helping me. NOTHING was helping me wake up. I was sleeping 13 or more hours a night and still felt sleepy when I woke up and was distracted all the time. I was in pain most of the time nothing real bad just a dull pain. I started taking a product that I remembered had helped me before with something else. I started to feel more awake almost immediately. I still have days that I am a little more sleepy but nothing like I was. I decided to give this supplement to Megan and really saw nothing.... except she had a BM ... That's a big deal for her! BUT it didn't continue to do that for her. I was actually giving it to her for almost 3 months and was going to take her off of it when stuff started connecting like crazy! O and by the way... We are NOT taking her off this stuff!
Connection 1.
I put an apron on Megan before she eats and she has her own. One day I put my apron on her in stead because hers was messy. She began to run and skip around the house screaming "NOW Im THE MOM!" Im THE BOSS OF YOU!" That is some real connecting going on!
Connection 2.
One day we were at Red Robin and the waitress introduced her self ..."I am Sophia I will take your order when you are ready." Megan looked at her and said.... "Ide like a hamburger please." I was so shocked I could barely talk. and my mouth dropped open. NEVER before! she could barely point to make a decision before!
She is doing new things every day! I am in awe as I watch my little girl bloom.
Connection 3.
One day she was having a hard time with her anxieties sometimes she cusses and freaks out and her behavior looks like tourettes.We can tell its pretty much out of her control. She has been so repentant after ward , but never anything beyond that. SO the other day shes yelling
Let me try and take you there without offending you but she was yelling in a real agitated voice F...... B .... (If you need to know what words she was saying you can call me) Ok so she was saying that and some other things when SUDDENLY she looks different then usual like shes trying to calm herself and she looks at me and says "I'm calling Rocky a F.... B..... ," YES looking at me as if to say I'm not calling F.... B... "I'm telling it to the dog." Right after she said that she began to tell herself in question form" Don't say F.... B.....?" Do you realize what this means? If she can see this behavoir and reason through it she will be ABLE to choose to act differently! Where there once seemed to be NO free will Now I think I'm seeing it!
The ability to make a choice is a very important life skill wouldn't you say?
Connection 4. or TMI......(To Much information)
Tonight I was trying to get her to go potty (shes scared to poop) and she kept saying I don't want to poop. (huge in itself) I told her she needed to sit on the potty . She said "ITS against the law!"
I had to hold laughter back and try to ignore her trying to change the subject and told her ... "Honey You have to poop or Ill have to take you to the hospital" She then gets this great idea face and says "I wanna go to the hospital!" Like she figured out a way to get out of sitting on that toilet I'm telling you anything to avoid that potty!
Connection 5.
I was cleaning my office when I hear "Mom!" "Moooooom" "Come watch Muppet with me!"
FOR REAL! I dropped the duster and sat down next to my 14 year old daughter to watch her favorite show.
I am truly amazed I know we haven't reached our destination and Meg still has some issues. (but who doesn't?) For the first time in a long time I have high hopes for my daughter! She is telling us what she wants and doesn't want. She is putting things together and using self soothing skills... She is even telling me when she has a hard day at school. Thank YOU God ! I love changes like these. YES My hopes are high for this young lady and I cannot wait to see whats next!
