TUMMY TROUBLES

I have a feeling this may be the strangest blog ever written or post any way.... probably full of rabbit trails
bare with me its been a tough couple of weeks.


Megan has had tummy trouble since about the age 3 or 4 I'm not really sure when I first noticed it. Either constipated or well the opposite of that. Ill spare the details.

Megan also has some pretty tough behavior challenges hitting, pinching and screaming.

When Megan started going through some hormonal changes her anxiety was over the top which caused her behavior to be  totally UN manageable. Not only that but she would ramble on and on switching moods like a flickering light. She was always a tough one screaming cuss words and hitting most of the time because she was in real pain and didn't know how to say hey my stomach hurts dang it!

We had been praying and praying for God to intervene and help Megan so she wouldn't behave this way. So it was  very painful for me to come to the place where I had to admit that in order for Megan to have any kind of life outside our home we were going to have to give her meds.

I was very clear to the doc about Megs tummy issues I said she can not have meds that will constipate her. Megan was prescribed resperedone. It was an amazing transformation. Its as though the med slows her mind down enough to where she can understand more. Shes able to communicate better and shes more affectionate.

back to the tummy issue
 we finally got a referral to see the only pediatric Gasternoligist in town. only took YEARS!

So We go see Dr. Gregory He seemed very,educated, thorough ,and most of all compassionate. Megan kept saying "Megan's a nice girl" and he would look at her and say "that's what I hear." Megs family Doctor had her on a regiment that wasn't working magnesium citrate 2 oz w. 4 oz of 7-up and only if she didn't go in 3 days. so its been well over a week and still no movement. OK so the tummy doc says to me mom your not gonna like my new regiment. day 1 -10 oz of magnesium citrate3 x.......
he ordered a number of tests including cliac, thyroid, xrays, O AND
 guess what  he looked  up respiridone on his site he needed a password to look up side effects for her meds. Seems to me that parents should be able to have access to this site.  IT stated that 21 % of people who took this med suffered constipation! It didn't say any thing like this  on the site I went to excuse me the sites I went to.
So now of coarse he wants me to now call her Neurologist and have her switch meds.
Since she has had this problem before the med I'm not wanting to jump to this, specially because it helps her tremendously!

We have tried so many different interventions  for both her tummy and behavior ABA,different diets, juicing supplements, nutricuticals... and most have helped in some way...Just not like we would want.

Yeah so Im always talking about poop One of my very first conversations with my pastor some 20 years ago just happened to be about poop (I watched his toddler in the toddler room) Megan is 10 and not yet mastered the potty training thing. She has autism and Mild I.D. for those of you that haven't got the notice yet I. D. is the new M.R. intellectually disabled.

Any how sorry bout the rabbit trail thinking out loud again.I'm just so back and forth right now! So let me tell you what happened tonight.  We chose to start her regiment today. Man this girl is a trooper she drank this stuff 10 oz diluted w. 7up 3x so it was like more than 90 oz of liquid! her tummy is like a watermelon. She kept wanting to get in the tub (do you blame her?)She was soaking in her 3rd bath of the day when she stood up she stood there for about 5 minutes or so I was beyond the bathroom door in my room where i could see her.  All of the sudden She turned grey and her eyes fluttered like someone does when they are about to fall asleep. REMEMBER shes standing in the bathtub. Instantly I was next to her catching her as she fell down it looked like a tiny seizure or fainting spell. after wards I just wanted to cry. she laid  on the floor for a bit as I prayed. OK look I know that resperedone is toxic and I'm a health NUT! I know that her seizure med is also not what we would call "clean" but whats the alternative? My daughter is sick. The things I am putting into her body that help her live a more typical life are poisoning her! how do I continue on this road?  We need answers...She needs a solution.

 You know what People have told me that autism is a blessing from God and I'm sorry but I don't buy it! all these things that seem to be parts of autism in these kids life NOPE- torment and pain not from my LOVING God. Megan is from God but autism is from the pit! God doesn't make us sick He heals I am crying out for the next step in all this.

It is almost 2 AM and she is sleeping next to me as i sit on the couch bloggen away my frustrations. I know God has the answer to all this and I know Hes not hiding them  from me. I'm sure Hes talking to me and telling me whats next I'm just like a child not understanding my Fathers communication, But He is patient and doesn't give up on me. He knows my hearts desire and He is with me in all of this He is with her holding her when she is in pain. My purpose in posting this is not only to blog out my frustrations BUT to be see through. I know there are parents out there that go through this kinda stuff and worse. Sometimes just having another person understanding some  of what you are walking through can be the greatest therapy ever. I'm waiting for His voice for His lead. I know there are others waiting to hear also. As she lays there finally asleep oops spoke to soon any how I was just thanking God for His mighty hand in our lives. I'm so thankful for my relationship with Him. This could be so much worse. My family could be walking through this without knowing Him and His loving mercies wow there is no way I could be walking through this with out Daddy God. You see I always know that no matter how bad things seem at the moment that Hes got great plans for me Jer 29 V 11 is the place He always leads me back to. For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord plans to give you a future and a hope.

Well than I hope you enjoyed sharing our night ...or morning with us. I promise to try and keep my posts shorter and more ... um to the point If you didn't enjoy this post o well Ill have a new one in a couple weeks or so Until next time... Peace

We are the lucky ones

This is an older journal entry that I was reminded about. Its about a year old. thought Ide share.


Our daughter Megan who is almost 10 years old was diagnosed with autism 4 years ago. This has totally changed my life. Our entire family has been affected. I cannot tell you how many times Ive cried because I knew that I wasn’t being the mom the other kids needed. I do think that our family has really suffered in some major ways. In areas like social events (stopped going) fun family vacations (stopped doing) entertaining at our house (not any more) There has been so many times I look over at a little girl having a conversation with her mom and I have felt that Its not fair feeling, why can their daughter do and enjoy a normal life? How did they get so lucky ? yeah the lucky ones.
It has been 4 years since the diagnoses and God has taken us through many things. I am no longer so depressed about our life (her life) She has come a long way and we are so proud of her. Shes a trooper. I don’t usually find myself looking at other families like I used to either, but every once in a while some little thing will happen or remind me... this morning I drove by her school and saw all these cars every where...O yeah there is a 4th grade concert today...OUCH ok that hurts . she will not participate she may not even know they are doing it. As I drive by tears feel my eyes I bow my heart to Daddy God and say help me, turn me around....don’t let me stay in that sorry place of ahhh why are they so lucky??? Whine, whine ,whine. On my drive I’m remembering Our little girl. She sings this ...Hey now this is my desire consume me like a fire cuz i just want somethin beautiful. Touch me I know that I’m in reach cuz i am down on my knees waiting for something beautiful yeahhhhh… she will sing w. me for a long time and I cannot express to you the joy that feels my heart even when the words are wrong and in some funny order O man I godda tell you that’s something beautiful! Then I really like how God just gets in there and can change our way of thinking in an instant even before the sorrow has left completely.I’m reminded about how sometimes as parents of typical kids we can take these things for granite things that parents of special need kiddoes would throw a party over. I remember the first time Megan jumped in a jumping house she was like 6 there were other kids in there too. The only parents that were watching in amazement were Megans parents, yeah us. No one really knew that it took like two hours of step by step... touching the side of the jump house saying jumping is fun ...ect . That day Megan faced a major fear in her life. We were the happiest people in that room I know we were.... Today at Megans school not all the parents but many of them have no clue how wonderful it is that their child can stand on bleachers and sing with a choir. Many of them don’t even want to be there! In a moment my mind is fixed in a different way as I realize something maybe they the typical parents maybe they are missing allot ....wow maybe we are the lucky ones? Just think We are the blessed ones.

Things I never thought I would do....as a mom

I never thought I would chase a stranger down in a store because she was saying mean things to my toddler who was having a HUGE melt down.

I never thought I would have to know how many steps need to be taught  for using the potty,  putting on socks, or clearing a plate.

I never thought I would be buying diapers for a 10 year old.

I never thought I would be going to ABA, speech and Occupational Therapy instead of ballet or baseball.

I never thought I would have to fight so hard for someone to get an education they need and deserve.

I never thought I would learn to block punches from my own child.

I never thought I could feel so desperate to help someone.

I never thought I would fight to get my child in a school made for children with disabilities.

I never thought I would hurt so bad when someone said the word retard even if they didn't mean it "that" way

I never thought I would feel so alone even in the midst of a crowd.

BUT you know what? as heart breaking as this process has been I have found treasure inside the tears.

I never thought I would be so thankful when my child bounced in a bounce house for the first time when she was 7. The only parents even watching were Megan's parents and we were crying from the joy that filled our hearts.

I never thought about what it was to unconditionally love some one. (yeah until now)

I never thought I could be so happy when a child finally read after 9 years!

I never thought I would meet  a group of parents that would be better described as super heroes. Extra ordinary is a perfect way to describe them.

You know what? I really wasn't aware that autism is an entirely  different culture. well I'm well aware now

AND, finally ....

I never thought my heart and my life could ever be and would ever be so full!