Our daughter Megan who is almost 10 years old was diagnosed with autism 4 years ago. This has totally changed my life. Our entire family has been affected. I cannot tell you how many times Ive cried because I knew that I wasn’t being the mom the other kids needed. I do think that our family has really suffered in some major ways. In areas like social events (stopped going) fun family vacations (stopped doing) entertaining at our house (not any more) There has been so many times I look over at a little girl having a conversation with her mom and I have felt that Its not fair feeling, why can their daughter do and enjoy a normal life? How did they get so lucky ? yeah the lucky ones.
It has been 4 years since the diagnoses and God has taken us through many things. I am no longer so depressed about our life (her life) She has come a long way and we are so proud of her. Shes a trooper. I don’t usually find myself looking at other families like I used to either, but every once in a while some little thing will happen or remind me... this morning I drove by her school and saw all these cars every where...O yeah there is a 4th grade concert today...OUCH ok that hurts . she will not participate she may not even know they are doing it. As I drive by tears feel my eyes I bow my heart to Daddy God and say help me, turn me around....don’t let me stay in that sorry place of ahhh why are they so lucky??? Whine, whine ,whine. On my drive I’m remembering Our little girl. She sings this ...Hey now this is my desire consume me like a fire cuz i just want somethin beautiful. Touch me I know that I’m in reach cuz i am down on my knees waiting for something beautiful yeahhhhh… she will sing w. me for a long time and I cannot express to you the joy that feels my heart even when the words are wrong and in some funny order O man I godda tell you that’s something beautiful! Then I really like how God just gets in there and can change our way of thinking in an instant even before the sorrow has left completely.I’m reminded about how sometimes as parents of typical kids we can take these things for granite things that parents of special need kiddoes would throw a party over. I remember the first time Megan jumped in a jumping house she was like 6 there were other kids in there too. The only parents that were watching in amazement were Megans parents, yeah us. No one really knew that it took like two hours of step by step... touching the side of the jump house saying jumping is fun ...ect . That day Megan faced a major fear in her life. We were the happiest people in that room I know we were.... Today at Megans school not all the parents but many of them have no clue how wonderful it is that their child can stand on bleachers and sing with a choir. Many of them don’t even want to be there! In a moment my mind is fixed in a different way as I realize something maybe they the typical parents maybe they are missing allot ....wow maybe we are the lucky ones? Just think We are the blessed ones.
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