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Saturday, October 19, 2013


LOVEING THE LITTLE THINGS
Written by: Caili Misner

      Throughout my twenty years living here on this earth, I have learned many lessons either through my own experiences or by watching the experiences of others. But from all the lessons I have learned, one lesson stands above the rest and that is to love the little things in life. This lesson began in the year 2005, during this year my family was going through something, that literally took the world we knew and flipped it on its head or at least  it felt like that any way.
 That year of 2005, my family had found out that my sweet little five year old sister Megan had AUTISM. So many questions rushed through our minds on what this thing called autism was and how it would affect my sister Megan growing up. Well my family learned fast and hard on what autism was, what we learned and heard from our excessive research and from what experts or doctors had to say is that my sister Megan could have difficulties in social interaction with people; trouble with verbal communication which would result in fits and tantrums if she was not understood or did not get her way. Plus that she would have repetitive behaviors, no sense of humor, and a lack of empathy.

There were times when I found my sisters autism to be quite noisy and very scary, to put this into perspective and have it in a way where it’s PG for you, my dear reader. When my sister would throw a fit, let’s just say that not all words were appropriate and lady like. But there was this one time while she was throwing a fit and yelled the most appropriate thing  and what it was I will never forget, she yelled  “Oh my darn it!”  When she throws fits, I either leave the room or put my headphones on. But sometimes it would get so noisy in fact that it sounded to me like a bunch of angry cats put in a metal trashcan that was rolled down a bumpy, rocky hill during a hail storm.

Other than my sister’s fits being very loud, how it looked was a different story. Cause every time my sister threw a fit, I  saw it as if she was an angry elephant on a rampage going through the busy streets of New York City and would hit anything or anyone that was in her way or in close distance of her. Now if there was an angry elephant going through the streets, it would make  total sense for the police force and animal control to block certain areas of the city so the elephant doesn’t hurt its self or others and to make sure it goes to a safe enclosure when it can be safe and have time to calm down. This is the same with my sister Megan, whenever she throws a fit she starts hitting everything and everyone in sight which can be a danger for her and others; my family has to work together as a team and usher my sister safely to her room so she can calm down.

  Other times I found my sisters autism to be very hilarious, because there would be times when she would say the most random silly things that it would make me laugh so hard that I couldn’t breathe sometimes. There was this time in my sister’s life where just about everything and everyone was a color, like she would randomly go up to people either in the store or when people came to visit us and she would ask them “Are you purple?”  There was also another time where my sister Megan had a fascination with baby dolls and every year on her birthday or Christmas, I would ask what she wanted and every year it was the same thing “I want baby doll” she would answer this so much in fact that now my sister has a total of 30 baby dolls.

There was also a time when my sister was trying to figure out what fat was and would ask my mom and me out loud in fact, if that man or woman was fat and we would either tell her that it wasn’t nice to say or we would just ignore her if she kept on repeating it. There would also be times when my sister Megan would copycat or parrot what I would say when I would be talking to my friends or mom and dad. In these moments when she would do that, I would tell her to just be quiet, mostly all she would do is just laugh very loudly at me and say “sissy want me to be quite, I’M TOO LOUD!”  Now, to think the doctors said she would have no sense of humor.

 There were some times I found her behaviors odd or just plain silly, like when my sister had a favorite movie she liked to watch, she would want to watch it over and over again. So much in fact, that I now know almost every line of every movie I ever watched with my sister.  Then there are the moments with my sister, that I cherish very deeply and those are the moments whenever were just lying on the couch quietly next to each other watching a show or when she gives me high fives and says “we rock” every time we score five stars on Rock-Band. When I look back at those moments in my life I began to laugh and think how irritated I would get when she wouldn’t be quiet, or behave like a normal sister should, then I stop and think about those moments when I really enjoy having her around and glad that she’s not normal.

What does the story of my sister being diagnosed with autism and me having to live with it, got to do with loving the little things in life you may ask when reading this? Well to put it simply for you. It’s this, besides the throwing of occasional noisy fits and the randomness of words that would come out of my sister Megan’s mouth. There were many things; small things that everyday people seem to take for granted sometimes that my sister didn’t know how to do. Like brushing teeth, eating with utensils, getting dressed by her-self. These are just to name a few on the list of little things.

My sister Megan, who is now a teenager, has made a lot of progress since the time she got diagnosed with autism.  There are the occasional fits, but they are not as bad as they used to be when she was little and sometimes I have to remind her to use her fork or spoon when eating. But all in all, my sister has grown to be quite the social butterfly and is the shining star at her school. Every day that I spend with my sister, is a day where I love the little things more and more. I am so proud that I get to live with an extraordinary person like my sister  and get to watch her grow  into the little lady that she is becoming today, because of  my sister I have learned to love the little things, not just in my sister’s life, but mine as well.

 

 

 

     

 

 

 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

GODS word HER cure

 1 John 1v9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (unless you have autism)






 I know not funny huh? IT doesn't say that! IT says if we confess our sins HE will FORGIVE us and cleanse us of any unrighteousness!!!! O my for real?
Megan has many behaviors MANY that would be considered unrighteous. Just because she has autism doesn't mean she gets to just walk around with these behaviors! She has to be taught what's right and what's not just like any other kid. YES in some ways Meg is just like any other kid. She is 13 , loves music and is now boy crazy! She has good behaviors and bad. She makes choices every day... good and bad. If she hits she has to go to her room. AFTER the behavior when she is calm sometimes she is able to reason through, sometimes she's not. For years I would lead her in repentance ...Meg say this " Jesus thank you that you love me." "Thank you that you forgive me." I'm sorry I hit ____________ . Please forgive me and heal me so I will not hit when I am mad. In Jesus name amen. FOR years I have walked her through this! Just this last week she has been saying stuff like" I'm sorry for hitting my door" or "I get mad sometimes"  I believe that God can and will heal her maybe NOT of autism itself (whatever that may be) BUT of acting out bad behaviors. Meg has gone through so much and has come so far. Gods word does not return void. We have used scripture ... I figure hey if He can transform me with His word why not her? HIS word is settled in Heaven ...It doesn't say unless you have autism! His word says HE saves those who call on Him..... It doesn't say unless they have autism ...right? Megs favorite scripture is God has not given me a spirit of fear but love power and sound mind! I do not know all things even about autism or why she has it.... BUT I do know that GOD has not given her a spirit of fear BUT love power and SOUND MIND! I know that God did not make Megan to be tormented... He has made her on purpose in my whom He has plans for her NOT to harm her.That's what HIS word says so that's where I am placing my faith! God has never lied nor will ever do so. His word is true and always solid. I know sometimes its hard to believe His word when emotions are all over the place yelling in your face. I know that the enemy lies to you and tells you this child is part of some cruel punishment for past sins, and that there is no cure. I know that deep inside your heart you long for your child to be healed and whole but are afraid to even ask. I know this because I have been there. DEAR ONE Your child is a GIFT from God. The stuff that comes with autism is NOT. I'm going to be bold here and say autism is a disease, and GOD does not give disease! God heals. DID you hear me dear one? GOD HEALS! Ask Him today to walk you to the place of faith so you can fight for your child. Speak His word considering your child and ask Him to heal ..... ALL though I do not know what that looks like in your life all the way I know it looks good and If you ask Him to show you He will. I must go now so until next time Keep your eyes on JESUS! ....

 In His LOVE Arlene

Monday, July 22, 2013

Missed appointments

Last week I had things I wanted to do , people I REALLY wanted to see. I missed everything I WANTED to do! boo hoo my life :( OK pity party over! I was able to get Meg to her docters appointment and able to keep my house clean (okay somewhat livable) BUT o there were things I REALLY wanted to do. If I missed an appointment with you.... Know that You are not alone and I really wanted to see you.

ITS a new day, a new week! I love Mondays !!!! They are fresh and start me off brand new.





 It helps that I believe in and enjoy my work. My Job is different , BOTH of them or should I say all of them?

I'm focusing on two areas of my life for this post. One being my JOB, you know the one that brings income.... Yeah that one. I own my own business so I can work around Megs schedule. TOTALLY works for me. Although its my own business and I can make my own hours, I have responsibilities in this business for the people I'm training and for my customers. I want to be excellent in all I do.

 Meg is the other area of my life I am writing about today. (after all she is what this blog is about)She goes to a specialized school just for kids that have different needs. They have always had a year round schedule and its been perfect for her!
Recently our district changed that, and she is out of school for nearly 3 months. She is a sweet and fun gal that loves life and people, BUT 3 months of no school is confusing! I do not have enough PECs for her calendar to show her she is home this long. PEC stands for Picture exchange communication. It is how we have communicated for years :)

I learned some years ago how to recognize when burn out is around the corner and know when I need to rest or when I need to play. Usually both hahaha. Rest first then play. I've learned a skill set in even how to rest if I cant get away. Some days Megs hair wont be done It will be brushed but that's it. She will be fed and dressed...I just do the things that have to be done.   I call those my have tos . On those days I hurry and do my have tos, and then I just put on worship music and sit there and soak. I have learned to rest in Him even in Megs constant talking and noises ...and I think that is an important skill set.

NOW to learn a new creative way to do my business while Meg is here for 3 months! This could be interesting. God is our CREATOR He created the entire world and us....so Im asking Him for some of that creativity to run an excellent and prosperous business while being the mom she needs. OVER comeing autism in every area of our life! Not giving up or running away from challenges but facing them head on with HIS strength That is how I live and move that is how I grow in Him. In Nehemiah the people were prepared for what ever came their way and they kept working to get that wall built. Building tools in one hand and fighting tools in the other. I believe God has given me tools to do the jobs at hand. Where is God challenging you to overcome? Are there areas in your life or your kids life that can cause you to flee or bury your head in the sand? God invites us to overcome these areas He all ready has the answers and chances are you all ready have the tools. Ask His help and move ahead into His promises. DONT let excuses steel your future! Now go and have a great week! remember  Dear ones God LOVES you, and is for you. He wants you to prosper and succeed in every area of your life .... NOW GO DO IT !


Monday, November 19, 2012

ITS ABOUT THE ONE

Good afternoon friends and FAMILY :)

I hope this month has reminded you about the many things to be thankful for in your life. I know it has me. I have learned to be thankful for things that used to be taken for grantet by me and many other parents.

years ago before Meg was diagnosed our family was involved (to say the least) in a church. We would go up to 5 services a week sometimes. I sang on the worship team and David set up and did sound. Before that we were very involved in children's ministry. For 16 years we were about the fathers work. We are still about the Fathers work, however the work is more at home then any where else. Six or so years ago God had moved us to Summit. It was hard for us to leave a very familiar and comfy place even to come to to place as sweet and healthy as Summit. We have struggled as a family and have gone through allot of changes.
Church has been different and just getting to one service a week as a family has been a dream for us. At times we have gone to one service a month because we have to take turns going. Meg and Caili have difficult times and have different issues. Both our daughters have autism. Caili has over come so much that it takes a trained eye to see that in her. Meg on the other hand at 12 skips and screeches. (Need I say more)

 At times when Meg was younger we would leave church with her screaming and screaming! Her arms flailing and tears flowing.  I'm thankful for Teri and others who have helped us feel welcomed and valued even in the midste of these fits. Meg has started having more seizures a couple of years ago so attending church and other activities became more rare for us as a family.
We belong to a life group, but have missed allot of meetings. Its easy to feel isolated. Its easy to feel alone.

Some people may have been okay with taking turns or going to church once a month....but hearing meg weep and cry out " I'm sad about church!"  would not let me accept this way of life. I believe that God has called us to be over comers and not just survivors. I believe that God My Father desires for Meg to be at church.
 Canvas is the service we go to as a family. God has made a way.
 
We still do not make it every week as a family but it is happening more and more. Meg is so happy to be there and now my mom has started coming and daughter in law too! Meg sings the songs and yells out yeah and hallelujah!

 Canvas is like having a little church inside of a big church. I know there are many stories inside of the people at Canvas , and this is just about one. After all isn't that what spreading the gospel is about? Its about the one sheep. Its not about how many come to church its about reaching the one. Meg is only one, but I am another her sister still another and her dad and her grandma .... reaching the one has touched so many more. I am thankful to attend church as a family and to hear Meg sing out to God! I am thankful for a healthy church that is about the Fathers work.
 I am thankful to belong to a body of beleivers that are focused on investing in and building up the KINGDOM of God here on Earth. I have to go now Remember to keep your eyes open for opertunities to be thankful in the little things.I know I will.


In His LOVE Arlene

Sunday, October 14, 2012

LOOKING BACK TO SEE TODAY

When I look in her eyes I don't see a disability...When I look in her eyes I don't see autism not usually any way.What I see is the past, before I knew of the struggles she would face. I see all she had to work through to get to where she is  today. I see the present where we can go to stores or to restaurants as a family (usually) I see her look at her dad with awe and say the words Daddy do you love me?...Today  I see her. I see how far she has climbed, and I am truly amazed! She sings to all the songs on K-LOVE and she ministers to everyone who knows her. She is little girl, and I have dreams for her. She reminds me daily (sometimes hourly) that she is not a baby. I think she thinks about allot of things. She can talk allot and can communicate allot better then before....  but her expressive language is not the same as yours or mine. I wonder what thoughts play in her head. She says I'm not a baby, but in side is she wondering then why the diapers? Is she wishing deep inside that she could do what others can? Does she feel alone, or lost? This last week we went to her neurologist so she could explain the last EEG she had. Her Doctor told me that the seizures showed up every where like all over. She said that the med she is currently on only help one part of her seizures and that she would need to be on Kepra also. We started the med on Thursday night Today she has been so much more aggressive. Its like she really cant help the fits and seems to really get repentant after ward. Wouldn't it be great if this med works and brings her out of confusion? O that would be a dream come true. I close my eyes and imagine her free. where she can have control of her own body. I can see her dancing the ballet like a prima ballerina. Or singing amazing grace in a clear and confident voice. I will support her though no matter what she can and cannot do. I will worship God and be thankful for every little mile stone met. And no matter what I will always love her and I will always dream for her. I must go to bed now . Its so late and my eyes are falling. Hey can I ask something of you? I want you to look at your own child and ask God to open your eyes to the gifts He has put into them. After that I want you to smile and hug your kiddo. Have a good day and be blessed.

In His LOVE Arlene

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

To the new parent with A special child

I have been thinking about the days when Megan was first being diagnosed. Life has changed so much since then.

 I was wondering how many moms and dads out there are just entering into the culture of autism, or any other realm of special needs. Can I tell you something?  I understand your hurt. I know what its like to be crushed as you watch your little one display odd behaviors. Behaviors that society will label them an out cast for. Behaviors that are weird and that will cause others to back away from you or judge you for.

 Dear one I want you to know right now that This is not a judgement on you from God. This is not a LIFE imprisonment. This WILL change you and it will crush you, push you down and, destroy who you are right now. This will take all that you have deemed important and push it back . Somethings that you find very important right now will not even make it on your priority list any longer. You will cry, You will be angry and dear one you will grieve.

 If you go through the process with God you will come to accept and appreciate your life. You will learn how to truly give your love away unconditionally, and in doing so you will learn what real joy is. You will be a master at having peace even in the middle of chaos. You will learn to fight the devil like never before because my friend you will be fighting for the life of your child .... I love that plaque that is forever etched in my soul, I'm not sure who wrote this or if I'm wording it correctly but  It reads something like this, "Having a child is the only way we get to see our heart walking around on the outside". Awww Isn't that so true?

 I know that when you had this child , when you first met him or when you named her....I know that you were not planning on hours of therapy ... OT, PT, ABA, You may not know what all those letters stand for now but Dear one you will. The ballet and baseball may happen but will be pushed aside for these instead. You may get to learn things about nutrition and supplements that you never wanted to know. Yes eating may never be the same again.
You see life as you know it today will simply fade away.

Dear one remember this God is good, He loves you ,and your little one. He did not give your child autism or what ever diagnoses is being considered. He didn't do it but oh He can make glory out of it. I know that reading this right now may be hard and you may be angry, You may even be angry at God. I was. If you are, simply tell Him. He can handle your anger, and He all ready knows about it any way. He wants to comfort you and wash your tears. He wants you to know Dear one that He will be with you every step of the way during this process and all other processes to come. It will be better if you notice Him there with you. I promise He will never leave you. He loves your child more then you do and has a great plan for them. He does not see disabilities OH no I believe in every one of us what He sees is His heart walking around on the outside.

Its so amazing now to look back at what my life was, at who I used to be. I am okay....NO I'm better then okay I am more of what God has created me to be. Dear one I love you and pray that you will live Gods full purpose for your life.

In His LOVE
Arlene

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

ALL THE TIME





God is good all the time even when I'm late for everything
God is good all the time when stress comes I'm still gonna sing.

Waken up brand new day bow my head
 God have your way
 Lead me guide me through again
Where you want me Lord do send


Getting ready for the plan
 Appointments commitments
Done all I can
Showered and dressed just one more thing
Wake up dear one and get her ready.

God is good all the time even when I'm late for everything
God is good all the time when stress comes I'm still gonna sing.

Special ones with special needs
Cant really get the meaning of plans
Yelling screaming apparently apposed
Calling to reschedule  appointments again.

Blender broken fridge is leaking
Anxiety rises w. each appointment made.
My life is different at times lonely
Don't wanna live my life afraid.

God is good all the time even when I'm late for everything
God is good all the time when stress comes I'm still gonna sing.


Feelings of helplessness and self pity arise
As fear tries to make its way in.
Than He reminds me of this mornings prayers
I hear me say where u want me do send

Apparently He wants me here
 In the midst of His spirit
Inside my home
Where we dance and sing and praise our God
Even when none of our plans get done.

God is good all the time even when I'm late for everything
God is good all the time when stress comes I'm still gonna sing.

In His LOVE Arlene